Electricity
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| LaVladina |
So afraid I’ll never find someone who makes me feel the
electricity that he did. His fingers on my skin, his hands around my neck. Never
have I ever experienced pleasure like the pleasure he gave. I wanted him so bad.
I still want him. Even now that I know the truth about him. I want him to want
me.
He gets under my skin. I wish I could let him go. But a
part of me, deep down, wants to feel the pain he caused over and over. Feeling
the pain is the only way to keep feeling the electricity. I miss his lips, his
hands, his cock. I fear part of me will never let him go. How could he toss me
aside so easily? Repeatedly. I wanted to hurt him like he hurt me. Over and over. I came
close.
He haunts all of my daydreams, but he never enters my mind
when I sleep. I wonder why that is? Only my conscious mind can’t let him go. My
subconscious mind is intuitive enough to have already written him off. Awake, I
still long to feel the weight of his warm body on top of mine. I want that
weight, even though I know the only way to feel that weight again is to
experience something heavy.
I wanted you to be the one. I always knew you weren’t. I
was willing to buy into the lie. You’re a beautiful liar. A con-man of the
heart. We were electrified. I stoked the fire. You snuffed it out. Imagine the
power of the electricity if you had let it burn. I trusted you more with your
hands around my neck, than I ever trusted you with my heart.
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